The storm is almost over.....

As I write this post today, I sit in complete exhaustion. My heart is troubled, my body is exhausted and my soul is completely worn out. I struggled over the past few weeks trying to cherish and appreciate happy times, good feelings and moments of enjoyment. It becomes harder and harder every day. Its seems impossible to be in a good mood and not a day goes by where I don’t want to go somewhere and cry my heart out, cry out all the sickness from my body and rid myself of the daily dr. visits and calls. I don’t want to be around or participate in activities with my family let alone my friends. Not due to any fault of theirs but just because of my own feelings of hopelessness. I pray sometimes with tears that my health, mind, body and soul be restored. That this storm will end and the sunshine will break though. I don’t want to work, but then again I don’t want to be home. I don’t want to talk or laugh. All motivation and inspiration has been drained from my thoughts. It’s times like this that I wish this was a bad dream and I could awaken from it.
On the other side of the fence, one thing I do have throughout this storm are many people praying for me. I welcome every prayer, every moment of the day. I welcome every person that can encourage me to assist in bringing me through. I am oh so thankful for my family as they have been so understanding throughout the process. Being able to hold me up and together, handle my laziness, understand why I walk with my head hung low, and my un-commitment to family time and activities together. I thank My Dear also for praying with me and for me. I never thought I would feel this way, if I would’ve known, I wouldn’t have went for testing. I would’ve ignored it, pushed it off to a better time that suites me. But my God knew what he was doing and how he wanted to move in my life. See if we didn’t have storms in our life, we wouldn’t appreciate the sunshine. God has blessed me and my household and family so much that he needs me to sit back and appreciate it. And if this is his way to getting me to that state of mind, well then I’ll take it. Though it seems unbearable at times I know past it all is a special blessing meant for me. So through my feelings of hopelessness and non-encouragement, I pray for you as you pray for me, that we’ll all make it through the storms in our life. That behind it all we’ll be able to enjoy and appreciate the sunshine(blessings) in our lives. That we will humble ourselves to accept the love of Jesus in our lives so that he can move in ways we never thought possible. So that he could pour out blessings we’ve never thought we’d have room enough to receive. If we can just trust him today- that he will bring us through our trials and tribulations, throughout the sickness of our bodies, our feelings of hopelessness, and throughout the difficulties of losing a loved one. I will wait on him, I will allow him to guide me through my storm.