Have Less than perfect credit or know someone that does?

www.myfes.net/SPaige1

Something To Celebrate

Beep, Beep! Dont mean to toot my own horn lol, but today is the offical beginning to my last year in my 20's. I'm motivated, ready, excited and nervous all at the same time. This year brings about many opportunities to live my dream. Though its already been some tough challenges to face recently, and I'm sure they'll be others along the way, but I believe its only in preparation to what is in store as I enter into the next stage of my life. I'm leaving out the 20's and entering the 30's with a bang! Humble, motivated, inspired, and faithful are just a few. Thank you for all your birthday wishes and love!!!

Not Many Will Understand

From baby steps to the next years of her journey

So it’s been a few days since my baby girl started summer camp, she's been spoiled by ALL from day one! And I got an update from her big brother that's she's been crying a lot half way thru the day. My protective love began kicking in, I wanted to jump in my car leave work and go get my baby! As I got ready to pack up and leave the office I thought hhhhmmm I can put her back in daycare...this is too much for her right now, maybe she's just not ready. Ok now what can I tell my boss???....hmmmm I have tight deadlines too much to do in so little time at work. But well manager I have to leave and I know it's awful timing this time of the year but I have to pick up my daughter because I just got a call about her crying and. ...... we'll wait she's not sick and she's not in danger...well my daughter 4(almost 5 in August) year old is just adjusting to the next chapter in her life! She's entering kindergarten this August and I decided to place her in a summer camp with kids her age along with her big brother and many cousins! What better way to transition her into elementary school than this way.........moving on I realized that I have to help get her to the next stage not hold her back by enabling her to still be a baby. But by allowing her to grow and explore the world ahead of her. By allowing her to be creative and special in her own ways.


I want my kids to be better than me to always be open to learning and growing in positive ways. To learn how to have compassion and love for ALL, not just sympathy but empathy. To be the most outstanding individual in one anothers lives. So yes it is time for mommy to back off a bit and let her spread her little princess wings and mature into the beautiful special big girl she is becoming to be. My baby is growing and blossoming I want her to be the brightest star in the sky. So baby girl welcome to the next chapter of your life. I will and we should all always keep our children safe from harm but remember you can't always protect them against the forces of human nature and growth.

I'm going to let the sun shine, the rain come, the thunders roar and the rainbows break through. Sunrises to sunsets, every day can be different but were going get thru it as a family and community.

DREAMS OF EXCELLENCE ~~ Sarah

Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within

It's only beginning to find release


Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard

They will not be pushed aside and turned

Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known


Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside

Someone I thought had died so long ago

Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard

They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own


I don't know where I belong

But I'll be moving on

If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart

A melody I start but I will complete


Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own, my own

Listen- Beyonce

Fantasia - Lose to Win

I had to lose to win.



-Sarah

2 Years Later.....

The last two years of my life as I look back have been very trying. I have truly been thru the test of time. In no way do I ever want to rewind or relive the difficulties and recall the pain and hurt. I've had to make some of the most difficult decisions of my life and the lives of my children. I admit, I'm not quite ready to divulge much of what I've been thru, but what I can say is that it has put a major damper of my writing. What I once found joy or relaxation in over my lifetime has become nothing more than another chore on my list of things to do. I was afraid of being able to express myself. I became almost a different person. My character has changed greatly. You'd be amazed at what some situations will do to your lifestyle. The effect it can take on you is almost unbelieveable. The things the world puts you thru is surreal. the real world hurts..... There is no reasonable escape....

Many people end up making a total lifestyle change, and I don't mean for the better. The pain you have to endure can leave you in state of disbelief that you want nothing more but to flee. Fleeing can leave you with many options but most importantly you know that you need to hurry towards a place of security. What you've always know as security can be what your actually fleeing from so then what?

To Care or Not to Care that is the question

To be honest, I wanted to name this post I dont give a *uck! But as we now that is not a very nice or respectful way of expressing myself, but at least now everyone knows what I feel deep down inside.

Over time, especially the last few months I've had to learn without much choice to stop allowing people or things to bring me down. I am a very emotional being as most people who really know me should know, but I've had to learn how to develope tough skin. Life becomes so much better when you learn not to care or allow negativity to sour your mood. Another thing I learned is that no matter how good or bad you do in life, there will always be that group of people who see the bad and the bad only, so the better you do, sometimes the worst they think of you. Lovely isn't it? lol.

When most people are bothered by things that happen or the way people treat or judge them, it only seems natural to respond or find a way to prove them wrong, right? Well to be honest, personally I found that doing absolutely nothing works so much better for me. Its almost like the things that happen or what people say or do are so insignificant is not even worth taking up space in my mind or spirit. I know me, I know what I'm working towards in life. I make mistakes just like every other human being. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. I'm Imperfectly Perfect! I make decisions in my life to head in the direction I choose to go in. This life was given to me so I plan on living it to the fullest. So from now on if I seem emotionless about situations, you don't have to wonder why, its because I stop to think first - To care or not to care?

~Sarah