Twenty Fifteen is here and I bring you Peace

There is never a perfect year or moment to work towards peace and success. There are so many moments every day we choose otherwise. This year is a dedication to and foundation of peace in my spirituality, my home, my children and family, my relationships, my career, I desire peace in coming and going. To peacefully give of myself and sacrifice for success.

When you work hard at creating an atmosphere you must have boundaries of whats allowed or not in my peaceful environment. I feel negativity is the only aspect of breaking my barriers. As we all know, life happens, obstacles come, ends don't meet, emotions come and go, but negativity is a total control of how we decide to act or react to how life treats us. I cannot be accepting of negativity while also working so hard at creating and maintaining peace, that always throws off my balance. An unbalanced Libra is not a good look!

When life is as meaningful as it to me and all that I love I choose the best life ever to live as I feel I was put her to enjoy. I look forward to all the motivational and inspiration seeking and receiving in all aspects of my life and to learn even thru the toughest of criticisms.

Have Less than perfect credit or know someone that does?

www.myfes.net/SPaige1

Something To Celebrate

Beep, Beep! Dont mean to toot my own horn lol, but today is the offical beginning to my last year in my 20's. I'm motivated, ready, excited and nervous all at the same time. This year brings about many opportunities to live my dream. Though its already been some tough challenges to face recently, and I'm sure they'll be others along the way, but I believe its only in preparation to what is in store as I enter into the next stage of my life. I'm leaving out the 20's and entering the 30's with a bang! Humble, motivated, inspired, and faithful are just a few. Thank you for all your birthday wishes and love!!!

Not Many Will Understand

From baby steps to the next years of her journey

So it’s been a few days since my baby girl started summer camp, she's been spoiled by ALL from day one! And I got an update from her big brother that's she's been crying a lot half way thru the day. My protective love began kicking in, I wanted to jump in my car leave work and go get my baby! As I got ready to pack up and leave the office I thought hhhhmmm I can put her back in daycare...this is too much for her right now, maybe she's just not ready. Ok now what can I tell my boss???....hmmmm I have tight deadlines too much to do in so little time at work. But well manager I have to leave and I know it's awful timing this time of the year but I have to pick up my daughter because I just got a call about her crying and. ...... we'll wait she's not sick and she's not in danger...well my daughter 4(almost 5 in August) year old is just adjusting to the next chapter in her life! She's entering kindergarten this August and I decided to place her in a summer camp with kids her age along with her big brother and many cousins! What better way to transition her into elementary school than this way.........moving on I realized that I have to help get her to the next stage not hold her back by enabling her to still be a baby. But by allowing her to grow and explore the world ahead of her. By allowing her to be creative and special in her own ways.


I want my kids to be better than me to always be open to learning and growing in positive ways. To learn how to have compassion and love for ALL, not just sympathy but empathy. To be the most outstanding individual in one anothers lives. So yes it is time for mommy to back off a bit and let her spread her little princess wings and mature into the beautiful special big girl she is becoming to be. My baby is growing and blossoming I want her to be the brightest star in the sky. So baby girl welcome to the next chapter of your life. I will and we should all always keep our children safe from harm but remember you can't always protect them against the forces of human nature and growth.

I'm going to let the sun shine, the rain come, the thunders roar and the rainbows break through. Sunrises to sunsets, every day can be different but were going get thru it as a family and community.

DREAMS OF EXCELLENCE ~~ Sarah

Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within

It's only beginning to find release


Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard

They will not be pushed aside and turned

Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known


Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside

Someone I thought had died so long ago

Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard

They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own


I don't know where I belong

But I'll be moving on

If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart

A melody I start but I will complete


Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own, my own

Listen- Beyonce

Fantasia - Lose to Win

I had to lose to win.



-Sarah

2 Years Later.....

The last two years of my life as I look back have been very trying. I have truly been thru the test of time. In no way do I ever want to rewind or relive the difficulties and recall the pain and hurt. I've had to make some of the most difficult decisions of my life and the lives of my children. I admit, I'm not quite ready to divulge much of what I've been thru, but what I can say is that it has put a major damper of my writing. What I once found joy or relaxation in over my lifetime has become nothing more than another chore on my list of things to do. I was afraid of being able to express myself. I became almost a different person. My character has changed greatly. You'd be amazed at what some situations will do to your lifestyle. The effect it can take on you is almost unbelieveable. The things the world puts you thru is surreal. the real world hurts..... There is no reasonable escape....

Many people end up making a total lifestyle change, and I don't mean for the better. The pain you have to endure can leave you in state of disbelief that you want nothing more but to flee. Fleeing can leave you with many options but most importantly you know that you need to hurry towards a place of security. What you've always know as security can be what your actually fleeing from so then what?

To Care or Not to Care that is the question

To be honest, I wanted to name this post I dont give a *uck! But as we now that is not a very nice or respectful way of expressing myself, but at least now everyone knows what I feel deep down inside.

Over time, especially the last few months I've had to learn without much choice to stop allowing people or things to bring me down. I am a very emotional being as most people who really know me should know, but I've had to learn how to develope tough skin. Life becomes so much better when you learn not to care or allow negativity to sour your mood. Another thing I learned is that no matter how good or bad you do in life, there will always be that group of people who see the bad and the bad only, so the better you do, sometimes the worst they think of you. Lovely isn't it? lol.

When most people are bothered by things that happen or the way people treat or judge them, it only seems natural to respond or find a way to prove them wrong, right? Well to be honest, personally I found that doing absolutely nothing works so much better for me. Its almost like the things that happen or what people say or do are so insignificant is not even worth taking up space in my mind or spirit. I know me, I know what I'm working towards in life. I make mistakes just like every other human being. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. I'm Imperfectly Perfect! I make decisions in my life to head in the direction I choose to go in. This life was given to me so I plan on living it to the fullest. So from now on if I seem emotionless about situations, you don't have to wonder why, its because I stop to think first - To care or not to care?

~Sarah

A Brand New Me

Loving this track and how it represents where I am in my life right now! Listen.....

I didn't know my own Strength

When people try to get the best of you, when they find ways to tear you down and to break you. Just listen to and remember the lyrics of this strong. When people try to hurt you to the core, remember your strength.

Its time to Celebrate!!

In one week, I'll be celebrating my 28th Birthday! So come on and celebrate with me!!!

For all my current and previous book club members.........Chapters of Conversation - The End...........

http://chaptersofconversation.blogspot.com/2012/05/chapters-of-conversation-end.html

Writers Block

Hello, hello, hello (echo)........ the pages of my blogs have been empty for so long, some may find it a bit disturbing. Its fine to feel that way, I've traveled that road plenty. I hope no ones given up on visiting although there's no doubt most have. I want to take a moment to apologize to my bloggy family and friends. I'M SORRY for leaving you lonely, stranded, and just plain angry at my inability to produce a post of substance or even non-substance for that matter.


There were no poems, no music, and no words that I felt inclined to post about over this period of time. I realized I could have done better, thrown a song or two, a poem or two, or just a simple update on whats going on in my world, but no can do! I came down with the good ole condition most refer to as writers block. My stubborn inability to produce even a single word to post on any of my multiple blogs was well....a problem that I'm ready to move past.

So as I visit my blogs again after a long deserted break, expect some posts and updates and feel free to pop over more often. I'm looking forward to your comments or questions, so shoot any my way!
Happy Monday to all and I'll be blogging with you soon!

 Many times people ask me why do you write? I have many reasons why.. some being that I write when happy when angry, when excited, when scared, when bored, I write as a form of my expression. I am a very reserved person and when younger I would write with no intentions of showing or telling anyone what I’ve written. Now I want the world to see and experience my expression. Its calming, it’s fun, its inspirational, it’s a way to open doors that you no longer want to keep closed.

One thing I don’t like the world to see is when I write when I’m angry. This is a door that cannot be opened to some because they would never understand or might interpret it the wrong way. When people read your writing, there way of interpretation can make or break the intention you had on your expression. I’ve learned over the last year or so how to REPLY rather than REACT to the a person’s way of interpreting my writing. I don’t want to shy people from what I write whether they enjoy reading it or not. I want them to feel like they’ve gained or learned something from it. Just as I would want to feel when I’m reading another person’s form of expression. I don't want to feel offended or hurt or as if I interpreted the wrong way. At times many people are unlike me and they write with intentions of causing pain and anger in others. I know this is going on because I’m a writer. I can interpret, break down and determine what the meaning behind what certain expressions or words mean and how they were put out there for others to see. The most important part of how I handle this is to not re-act, but simply to reply if that is even necessary. I’ve seen so much on facebook this past weekend to make a person just plain sick and tired of peoples stupidity and ignorance to the realities of the world. I waited and pondered how I should react to what I’ve seen….I had so many things in mind, but then I realized, hold up I need to pray about this- On this issue I need guidance on how to control my anger, how to be a comforter those affected and offended and how to reply and if it was needed for this situation. Oh God, I asked why does the devil have to run so ramped in people these days? Why can’t they get there mind and souls right and stop allowing the devil to control their every move, every decision and thought? And then I had a ah-ha moment. Everyone is not saved…just that simple right? Everyone is not saved. Let me say it again for those that read too much into things. Everyone is not saved. Therefore if everyone is not saved they cannot and will not begin to understand or see why there life is so screwed up and why they are so stupid and ignorant and why they hang around stupidity and ignorance. Do I hate or despise these kind of people? NO, but I will not allow myself to stoop to that level with them, I’ll let them know about their selves whether they like it or not. Everyone deserves to be told the truth and truth is YOU NEED TO GROW UP and stop the drama! Truth hurts! You are much too old and should be a model of maturity and love to continue on the same path that you have been on. If you haven’t already- it’s time to grow up and grow out of the mess you’ve been in for so long, you deserve a better life, you children deserve better, and your friends and family deserve better of you. Now before I close this out, let me just reassure you that my intentions were not to single you out or treat you bad, because God knows I still love you and want better for you. And if it took this for you to see that you need some Jesus in your life for real then it should be a wakeup call for you and not a breakup a relationship call for us.

Prayer can be a very personal thing, there is a time and place for everything and this prayer I share with you today:

Prayer for Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;



to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

--St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)

LEDISI - PIECES OF ME

7 Day Challenge Finale!!!

Hello,
As I prepared to wrap up the 7 day challenge, it became harder and harder to write. In a way I became almost defiant and stubborn in my thinking. I said things like, I don't want to write, I don't have to, I'm grown and can do what I want, when I want. In life sometimes you have those moments where you feel like "this" is mines and I don't have to answer to anyone but me. Some wonder why did you challenge yourself? What was it suppose to mean? My intentions and goal of the challenge was to take a period of time in my life where I had to embark on a difficult situation and enjoy and bask in my joy of writing. I wanted to basically make a difficult situation easier by doing something I like. Well it started out nice and easy and as the days continued, it became harder and harder. Before you knew it, day 7 slipped right away from me without completion. It wasn't just my inability to want to write, but of course life got in the way. Situations occur very often in a family of 6. So only a strong desire would've really sat me down to write that day. Of course I had everyday after that and that's just how I looked at it. I could write it anytime now because I'm late anyways, right? You'll have to excuse the fact that this post comes long in length and I hope you will find the ability and time to want to finish reading.
I was confronted with a reader of my blog (thanks family) when I didn't post day 7. Unbelievable right? Now I had to force and answer to why I had just given up or not completed my journey. People actually enjoyed what I was doing and were looking forward to finding a conclusion to what this all meant. So then my thinking became OMG! I have to write this, it almost felt forcible now, which was the complete opposite of my purpose. I fought with emotions, situations, and my inability to find the "right" words to wrap the challenge up for days. At times when I found the right focus, it wouldn't stick in my mind in enough time to write it down. Timing was never perfect. But today as I sit and write, I refuse to get up without finishing up this challenge. It's late, but somewhat right on time. I remain proud of myself (regardless of the fact that its late) for finishing it up. As I speak upon what I learned and gained from this challenge, let me first say, it was indeed a challenge and I need so much more work on completing personal tasks and working on me. I am a wife and mother, but I also need to continue to really and truly focus on me. Most times I am just going through the motions and not enjoying the beauty of life and the beauty of being a woman. I have also learned that although my journey seems hard now, it is preparations for fruits of life that many long to have. I have gained so much spiritually from this journey. I am a Christian and my goal is to make it to Paradise. As (man)human in body, there are many times where I will do human things and think human thoughts. I will make mistakes and learn from them. I will sin at times knowingly and unknowingly, but I'm learning how to be a better Christian each and every day.
As I wrap up this post today, I hope that through my journey I have encouraged you to embark on the next step or next dream of your journey. Anything you do, that it not part of your normal routine can be considered the next step. Whether it be starting a new path, hobby, job; developing an relationship or repairing an relationship and so on so forth. Focus on your life right now, determine and act upon your Mission, realize and find your Vision, last but not least- LIVE IT!

Live the Life You've Imagined

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

Henry David Thoreau

What do you imagine life as? Are you constantly dreaming or thinking about what your life could've or should've been? Do you not have a clear sight of what you want your future to look like? Do your dreams of life sometime seem unreal or not approving of your friends or family? Today ! encourage you to take the step, stop doubting yourself and go in the directions of what you want your life to be like. Start meeting your goals one at a time, step by step, accomplishment by accomplishment and overcoming failures. Think about it, where have you gotten so far just sitting around waiting for life to magically change for you, waiting for your dreams to come true and your not evening taking the steps to get there? Give your dream of excellence a try, you don't have much to lose but a bunch of seft doubt. As always keep God entangled in each and everystep of the way. Ask him to lead you and carry you through.
Until next time!

Random Ramblings

Its day 5 of 7 and I wonder why sometimes I challenged myself and I'm sure your wondering too and what it's all about, well hang in there as I prepare to close out this challenge and enjoy!
Thank God its Friday! (TGIF)
All my prayers for those who've recently lost love ones. A special praying for the strength of the Miller family and Burleson family.
Smart Phone + Water = bad news and a dumb, illiterate phone
Dont believe the Hype! It's not all that!
Sisters are the best!
A special shoutout to the most artistic girl I know! check her out at http://www.ellabear.blogspot.com/ !

Huggs and Kisses (Muah Muah!)

This Amazing Woman I Call a Mom By: EllaBear :)

Yo Yo Yo, Ella is in the house! I'm guest blogging for Sarah, or as I like to call her, SaraSaur :). I'm helping her out for her 7 day challenge. Today I will be telling ya'll that SaraSaur is an amazing woman I call a mom.
As many may know, her lover is gone. Not like ya know, gone gone, but he is somewhere working his butt off to ensure that our family is well.
Now, me and Sarah are not flesh. ( I am a bear and she's a dino :) ) but she took me and my sister in when we needed it. She didn't have to, but she did and God has blessed her for it.
Now she must work extra hard cause her mate is off on a journey. She accepted the fact that it would be hard and I don't think she was quite ready to have her mate leave her for such a long time. This is her challenge and she accepts it.
She goes to work everyday, takes care of four children everyday, cooks...cleans...makes sure everyone has done their homeowrk. EVERYDAY!
This woman is the new SuperWoman.
This woman I call amazing is a mom.

EllaBear is out booyah! :)
Visit me @ http://www.ellabear.blogspot.com/